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I just walked out on a date with one of the hottest women I’ve ever been on a date with. Here’s why…

So we met up at this taco place in Cancun, and she arrives and looks absolutely gorgeous, with a fancy dress and hair and make-up all done up like it was a Friday night and I was taking her to the most expensive restaurant in town because it was our anniversary. It wasn’t our anniversary, it was our first date, and it was a Thursday night. We were getting tacos.  I don’t think she was particularly pleased that I took her to a taco place, or that I was wearing a sideways cap and a dirty Tshirt with a swearing monkey on it but whatever woman this is just how I roll these days…

Anyway the tacos are super cheap, like 30 pesos for 2, so we order and start chatting. It seems to be going ok, I’ve done this before…

After a few minutes this woman comes up with her son behind her and starts speaking in Spanish. She didn’t seem homeless, or like a junkie, and the kid was wearing jeans and a nice shirt. She seemed like a normal mum. I could feel how uncomfortable the kid was. Anyway my date just dismissed them really quickly and they went off.

I watched this mum and son go to 3 or 4 different tables and nobody would help them. Then they crossed the road and went into Burger King.

The chick was telling me some boring story about her cat, which I really didn’t give a fuck about to be honest, so I interrupted her…

“Hang on, was that lady asking for money or food?”

“Err food… But…”.

“For her or for her son?”

“For her son I think, but…”

“Here, hang on a second, I’ll be right back…”

I got up and crossed the road to the Burger King, and saw the mum sitting in one of the booths with her head on her hands crying. Her son was opposite her, just sitting there.

I went over, and said in my best crappy Spanish “lo siento, hablo solamente un pocito espanol, pero el chico… El necessito comida?” (I’m sorry I only speak a little spanish, the boy… He needs food?)

The woman lifted her head up, tears pouring down her face, and she said “si, si”.

I looked at the kid “tienes hambre?” (You hungry?)

He said yes, in English.

I smiled and said “ok, let’s get you some food kid!”

We went up to the counter and I told him he could order whatever he wanted. He seemed really nervous, I could feel how ashamed he was. At first he said he’d just have some fries, but i insisted he could have whatever he wanted, it was ok. He ordered some BK triple chicken whopper burger combo meal with a large fries and a sprite. While we waited we chatted.

His name was Steven, he spoke a little English but it was probably better than my spanish. His dad had just died. His mum didn’t work. It was now just the two of them. His mum has some problem with her eyes to where it was hard for her to get a job. He was trying to find work but it was hard because he was only 8.

His meal was 69 pesos. I paid with a hundred, and gave him the change and told him to do something nice with it for his mum. And to at least share his fries with her. He thanked me, and said I was a very nice man. I left to go back to my date.

Back at the taco place the chick was pissed.

“What the hell! You invite me to this crappy place, then you just walk off and leave me here by myself?”

“Yeah, the kid was hungry…”

“So? Do you not think it’s rude to just walk off in the middle of a date!?”

At that point our tacos arrived. I put 30 pesos on the table.

“You know what? Here I’ll pay for that kid’s food, but I’m not paying for yours. Peace out brussel sprout.”

I grabbed my tacos, shoved one into my mouth, and walked off.

She seemed like a cow anyway…

It was one of my greatest exit lines ever.

sorry bitch


In 2014 Dan quit his job, sold or gave away all of his stuff and left to go travel the world.

He is the Director & Co-Founder of The Ridiculous Philanthropy Foundation, as well as the author of the upcoming book “How I Got Wasted, Got Laid & Saved The World”.

He loves tacos.